comments or grade my writing sample

[lle72352]

Can you guys take a look at my writing sample and tell me your impression? You can be as harsh as you want, i need to have a good idea of where i am at.

I wrote it in 32 minutes, just a little over the time limit, and didn't have time to go back and scan for typos and such.

Thanks in advance and best wishes

The stimulus: The best kind of education encourages students to question authority

Write a unified essay in which you accomplish the following tasks. Explain what you think the above statement means. Describe a specific situation in which encouraging students to question authority is not the best kind of education. Discuss what you think determines when students should be encouraged to question authority.

Respond:

Most of us undertake long educational years aiming to better our minds and understanding of the world. With these goals in mind, the education system is put together in ways that will accomplish to create enlightment of the minds by encouraging students to question the authority or the teachers and materials being taught. Under this education systems are classrooms of all levels ranging from kinder garden to junior high and on to colleges. These teaching institutions provide both factual information and opinions from text books and the educators themselves. Students are then encouraged to absorb and critically think about the knowledge presented.

Prison inmates can be consider as a type of learners or students that take on different type of education. This education are force on them due to their intolerance of respecting the minds of others in their society. Furthermore these students are known to defy the goal of our education system that teaches productivity. The goal of spend time in prison is to allow people think about what is right and wrong about their past actions. It would be unproductive and defeats the purpose of the re-education prison system if prison mates can choose to stay or leave the cell. Therefore, prisoners had to be forced to not question authority.

In normal society, everyone can be consider as students and these students should at all time question authority or the materials exosed. For this ability that we could configure what is right and wrong. When students seems to go against the grain and chose right as wrong and wrong as right, their privelege of questioning authority should be taken away until they can again fit in their community.

[reader2124927]

http://www.eduers.com/mcat/MCAT_Writing_Sample.htm
this site lists a chart that the marks are given by...

I personally am also having trouble with the writing section as I'm unfamiliar with many of the pertinant govermental and philosophical issues and my grammar is mainly intuitive. Despite this I am an avid reader so I might be able to help anyways.

I think you need to really improve... It seems that your grammar skills need work as the sentances were disjointed and difficult to read. I found the second paragraph to be an insightful answer but the first paragraph seemed vague and lacked direction and the last paragraph didn't suceed in joining the two thesis' together. I'd mark you somewhere between 3-4 but perhaps even as low as a 2.