MCAT Writing Sample Corrected 5

[jeanne7524]

Prompt: The object of education should be to teach skills, not values.
Describe a specific situation in which the object of education might be teaching values rather than skills. Discuss what you think determines when the object of education is to teach skills and when it is to teach values.


Students who strive to become physicians can rarely find themselves enjoying enough sleep or time for leisure. The intensity of the education, for which medical schools are eminent, derives from the amount of skills that the students need to acquire before they dive into the real world with real patients.

In the field of medicine, skills and knowledge are among the most important requirements for physicians. Without proper skills, it is nearly impossible to fulfill the purpose of medicine: to treat patients. For example, if a surgeon does not possess the techniques that are necessary for a surgery, it would be a disastrous mistake to put the surgery in his hands. Also, if a physician fails to recognize certain symptoms and associate them with the proper disease, it would be difficult to treat the patient. Likewise, learning the required skills is absolutely one of the most important objects of education.

On the other hand, a medical school cannot produce a worthy physician if it only focused on skills and not values. Some important aspects of a good doctor are respect and care for the patients. Although the purpose of medicine is to treat the physical problems of the patients, it is sometimes more challenging to do the job if the patient does not feel the mental comfort or trust in the physician. The progress in the healing process may be delayed if the patient is not at ease. Also, a physician is more prone to making mistakes without respect and care for the patient. Therefore, it is important to teach values and encourage students to develop beliefs while teaching skills.

Whether the object of education is to teach skills or values depends on what is more imminently significant. However, the goal can be to teach either of those, or even both. One is critical in fulfilling the goal of the education. The other is also necessary for doing the job in a more efficient and well-mannered way. Therefore, both are important elements of good education.


Ideas:
The ideas are appropriate and well put.

Technical Errors:
Almost negligible

Task #1:
The interpretation of the prompt was achieved while discussing the opposing points of view. The examples given clearly supported the thesis.

Task #2:
The antithesis is reasonable but needs more depth. The point which states “a physician is more prone to making mistakes without respect and care for the patient” needs to be validated further. The statement readily poses the questions “what mistakes in particular” and “how would these mistakes manifest in the medical practice”.

Task #3:
This task is accomplished, and the idea is well-stated.

TWO INDEPENDENT MARKERS:
Score #1: 4/6
Score #2: 3/6
Overall Letter Grade: O

For a clearer definition of the meaning of a score out of 6, look at the last section of the first lesson for The Writing Sample in The Gold Standard MCAT or below:
6/6: Thorough exploration of the topic and fully addressed tasks are features of six point essays. These essays show depth, structure, excellent vocabulary and sentence control as well as coherent focused organization.
5/6: All tasks are addressed by the essay. The treatment of the subject is substantial but not as thorough as for a six point essay. While some depth, structure and good vocabulary and sentence control is exhibited, this is at a lower level than for a six point essay.
4/6: All three tasks are addressed but the topic is given only a moderate exploration. Clarity of thought is present but some digression is seen although the text is structured. The quality of the vocabulary and of the sentence structure is adequate.
3/6: The essay distorts or neglects one of the three tasks. The issue may be only minimally treated. The essay demonstrates basic control of sentence structure and vocabulary, but the language may not serve to adequately forward the writer's thoughts. The essay may show organization but may be classified as simplistic.
2/6: The essay completely fails to address adequately one or more of the tasks. There may be recurring mechanical errors (i.e. spelling and grammar). Problems with analysis and organization are typical.
1/6: Problems with organization and mechanics in these essays make it very difficult for the reader to follow them. The essay may fail to address the topic entirely.
The essay is scored by two readers on a scale of 1 (lowest) to 6 (highest). The combined scores from the two essays (2 to 12 out of 12) are then converted to a scale ranging from J (lowest) to T (highest):

J (2), K (3), L (4), M (5), N (6), O (7), P (8 ), Q (9), R (10), S (11), T (12)