MCAT Writing Sample Corrected 7

[jeanne7524]

Prompt: Political campaigns present a false image of candidates.

This statement pertains to elections and the campaigning of politicians who are running for a position in government. Politicians campaign to win voters and the election. In order to do this some political candidates believe that they must portray themselvs in a manner that is agreeable to the majority of people to get the majority of the votes; even if the image being portrayed is false. For example, after the 2008 election, Governor of Alaska and Vice President candidate, Palin, accused the media and the Republican campaign team of falsely portraying her. Clearly, during some campaigns false images of the candidates are presented to voters.

However, a political campaign may present a true image of a candidate when the politician is attempting to be re-elected for the same position. In instances where the politician has been in the position for a term the voters are already aware of the capabilities of the candidate having experienced the benefits or drawbacks of electing them the first time. In such cases the campaign would be counter-productive and futile if it presents a false image of the candidate since the voters know the truth.

Ultimately, when a candidate is fairly new in the political scene a false image of them may be presented by the political campaign with the knowledge that the voters know very little about the candidate to begin with. However, when a politician is well-known by voters, including the media, then the campaign would be useless if a false image of the candidate were presented since voters are well aware of the true image of the candidate.



IDEAS: Overall, the ideas and the quality of writing are promising. Unfortunately, the student fails to expound key concepts resulting to a weak discussion of the essay’s arguments.

TECHNICAL ERRORS: Technically, the essay is sound and almost free of spelling and grammatical errors. There was only one misspelling found (themselves – Par 1, sentence 3), which is most likely a simple typing error.

PRIMARY OBJECTIVE - THE WRITING TASKS:
TASK #1: The explanation of the prompt lacks depth and substance. The example given about Sarah Palin makes the preceding points weak since it wasn’t established at first, whether the false image is presented by the candidate’s camp or by the running opponent’s. Also, it would have helped if the student cited a particular incident, an interview or a media source pertaining to Palin’s “accusations”.

TASK #2: The discussion of the antithesis needs to have more bases and supporting points.

TASK #3: The resolution is limited to a summary of ideas presented in the preceding paragraphs.

TWO INDEPENDENT MARKERS:
Score #1: 3/6
Score #2: 3/6
Overall Letter Grade: N

For a clearer definition of the meaning of a score out of 6, look at the last section of the first lesson for The Writing Sample in The Gold Standard MCAT or below:
6/6: Thorough exploration of the topic and fully addressed tasks are features of six point essays. These essays show depth, structure, excellent vocabulary and sentence control as well as coherent focused organization.
5/6: All tasks are addressed by the essay. The treatment of the subject is substantial but not as thorough as for a six point essay. While some depth, structure and good vocabulary and sentence control is exhibited, this is at a lower level than for a six point essay.
4/6: All three tasks are addressed but the topic is given only a moderate exploration. Clarity of thought is present but some digression is seen although the text is structured. The quality of the vocabulary and of the sentence structure is adequate.
3/6: The essay distorts or neglects one of the three tasks. The issue may be only minimally treated. The essay demonstrates basic control of sentence structure and vocabulary, but the language may not serve to adequately forward the writer's thoughts. The essay may show organization but may be classified as simplistic.
2/6: The essay completely fails to address adequately one or more of the tasks. There may be recurring mechanical errors (i.e. spelling and grammar). Problems with analysis and organization are typical.
1/6: Problems with organization and mechanics in these essays make it very difficult for the reader to follow them. The essay may fail to address the topic entirely.
The essay is scored by two readers on a scale of 1 (lowest) to 6 (highest). The combined scores from the two essays (2 to 12 out of 12) are then converted to a scale ranging from J (lowest) to T (highest):

J (2), K (3), L (4), M (5), N (6), O (7), P (, Q (9), R (10), S (11), T (12)