Corrected MCAT Writing Sample #2

[mcat_premed3832]

QUESTION

Innovative methods used by the press to reach a broader audience often end up providing that audience with less information.

Describe a specific situation in which innovative methods used by the press might not end up providing an audience with less information. Discuss what you think determines when innovative methods used by the press to reach a broader audience end up providing less information.


ANSWER

This statement suggests that when an action is taken that will benefit the majority of people, there will also be a small group whose values will not be represented. An example of this might be the introduction of "no smoking" laws that prohibit smoking inside public places, or out on covered patios. Although this legislation will surely protect the health of the overall population, the values of smokers are not represented. In this case, the interests (or values) of a select group must be sacrificed in order to protect the majority of the population.

However, there are instances when taking action for the good of the greatest number will not be detrimental to the interests of small groups. An example of this might be actions taken against bullying in schools. A recent campaign against bullying has included public service announcements and education in the classrooms. In this case, eliminating bullying from schools will certainly be for the good of the greatest number. It will allow all teachers and children to feel safe in their schools, and make for a more peaceful, effective learning environment. At the same time, it cannot be said that the values or interests of any small group are being sacrificed. In this case, all parties involved, including teachers, students, parents, administrators, and the public, share the same value. That is, they are all in support of eliminating bullying from schools. It would be extremely rare to find anyone whose values would be offended by this.

So, what determines whether or not action taken for the good of the greatest number will be detrimental to the interests of the few? From the examples described above, it can be argued that when a population has differing values, then any action taken to benefit one group, may be detrimental to the values of others. However, as in the case of eliminating bullying in schools, when all parties involved in a population share the same values and interests, then taking action for the good of the greatest number, will not be detrimental to anyone's beliefs.

[admin]

Ideas: good.

Technical Errors: very few, good job.


Primary Objective - The Writing Tasks:

Task #1: overall: OK; however, ?interests? is not the ideal interpretation of ?values?

Task #2: good; it is consistent with your definition in Task #1 but notice the difficulty it causes. The bully is ?interested? in bullying. It is not a true ?value? to want to bully but it is an ?interest? which is your definition of ?value.? Thus the ?interest? of all those who bully others is indeed offended.

Task #3: clear, consistent.

Two Independent Markers:

Score #1: 4/6

Score #2: 3/6

Overall Letter Grade: O

For a clearer definition of the meaning of a score out of 6, look at the last section of the first lesson for The Writing Sample in The Gold Standard MCAT or below:

6/6: Thorough exploration of the topic and fully addressed tasks are features of six point essays. These essays show depth, structure, excellent vocabulary and sentence control as well as coherent focused organization.

5/6: All tasks are addressed by the essay. The treatment of the subject is substantial but not as thorough as for a six point essay. While some depth, structure and good vocabulary and sentence control is exhibited, this is at a lower level than for a six point essay.

4/6: All three tasks are addressed but the topic is given only a moderate exploration. Clarity of thought is present but some digression is seen although the text is structured. The quality of the vocabulary and of the sentence structure is adequate.

3/6: The essay distorts or neglects one of the three tasks. The issue may be only minimally treated. The essay demonstrates basic control of sentence structure and vocabulary, but the language may not serve to adequately forward the writer's thoughts. The essay may show organization but may be classified as simplistic.

2/6: The essay completely fails to address adequately one or more of the tasks. There may be recurring mechanical errors (i.e. spelling and grammar). Problems with analysis and organization are typical.

1/6: Problems with organization and mechanics in these essays make it very difficult for the reader to follow them. The essay may fail to address the topic entirely.

The essay is scored by two readers on a scale of 1 (lowest) to 6 (highest). The combined scores from the two essays (2 to 12 out of 12) are then converted to a scale ranging from J (lowest) to T (highest):

J (2), K (3), L (4), M (5), N (6), O (7), P (, Q (9), R (10), S (11), T (12)